Before finally deciding to go to a fertility clinic, I always just thought that if we tried harder or tried more, that eventually we would have a child. So that is the excuse I kept giving my wife. I didn’t want to think that out of all of the people in the world, we were the ones that couldn’t conceive. She knew, and I always knew that she knew. I myself just couldn’t believe it.
It was September 2018, and I came to terms with it all. My wife and I sat in the garage playing “guess who sings this song”, and I told her lets call a doctor and see what our options are. Her exact words were “I told you that 3 years ago”. The next day I called multiple fertility clinics in our area. After speaking with my wife on the matter, we chose to go with Shady Grove Fertility Clinic.
On our consultation appointment we didn’t know what to expect. Dr. Ann Namnoun decided to go ahead and complete some testing and a ultrasound. Based on what she saw, she told us that an IUI would be a good place to start. This was the first time in years that we were hopeful. We had a few weeks of medication and monitoring appointments. At first I felt less than a man going to this place, but the staff and doctors make you feel comforted and at home. We went so often it kind of felt like a second home.
One thing that I noticed with all of these trips to the office was that, not a lot of husbands came to all of the monitoring appointments. I felt that this was odd and I did not want my wife to go through this alone. I have never missed an appointment and don’t plan on it in the future. This is a huge decision in a marriage.
When the day came to complete the IUI, the male has an appointment first. The male must go in a few hours earlier than the female to make a sperm deposit. I always feel awkward at this moment. Everyone in the waiting room knows when they call the male in, he is there to do his thang. My thinking is that I don’t want to come out too fast, and have everyone feeling sorry for my wife lol. But I also don’t want to be in there for too long and make it seem like I’m there to party. So even if I am done, I will wait in the room until I think it is the appropriate time to evacuate.
You will have a few hours to kill before going in for the final IUI procedure. We were lucky enough on all of our IUIs that they were performed on the weekend. We pass the time by going to a bagel shop and having breakfast. When the time comes, you are standing by your lady’s head as the doctor performs the procedure. I always found this point a little awkward as well, as I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I should be the one down there making it all happen.
Once its done you will wait in the room for 10 to 15 minutes before heading out. Now its time to wait and hope. Being our first one we were very hopeful. I thought for sure in 9 months I would be a new father, not that I don’t consider my niece my daughter, but the father of a new born. I was pumped, I couldn’t even explain how excited that I was.
In 2 weeks it was time to go in for the test. Drum roll please!!! This was it and we were ready. Then it turned into bad news, the test was negative. I think this is where it really hurt the most. Now I’m thinking it is not going to happen. The ride home was quiet, both of us just thinking what could have went wrong. Why was this happening to us? How do we both have younger siblings with toddlers and we can’t conceive? There was a good long week of depression. It took a lot of us talking and talking with the doctor to bring us out of the dumps. She wanted us to not think to much about it and try again. Which we did, but this time we were better prepared on what to expect.