What can you expect on your 2nd IUI? Well, one thing is for sure, you can expect all of the monitoring appointments and the procedure to get easier. You will start to become accustom to the the staff and the order of things. The cold hands, gel, and ovaries on the screen become a typical Tuesday morning. It helps when you have friendly familiar faces who are working hard to make your dreams come true. Even if your chance is less than 25%.
Shady Grove Fertility started to feel like a second home. I no longer needed the parking deck ticket or the office directory, I tried to park in the same spot and exit the same booth each week. I gained weight from all of the breakfast bagels I was consuming. Each time after the first IUI you think, this is the one. It is great to be positive and hopeful, I think it is the only way you can make it through this process without breaking down.
You do start to try to help the process as you go. You think, “what went wrong the first time?” Was it diet, exercise, sperm, egg, or could it have been stress? So how do you change every single one of these things to make sure you get pregnant? Well you try, but you can’t. At least we could not change everything. We did try however.
We were going to the park to make sure that we were getting adequate exercise, even if it was just for a mile or two walk. My wife and I had an entire area of the kitchen counter designated for “fertility supplements”. I ate so many of these herbs and spices, I felt like KFC. These two things are easy to change, where it gets difficult is in the diet and stress areas.
Granted, we may have went too hard too fast. We tried to go full on Vegan. We stopped at Kroger on the way home from a monitoring appointment to buy healthier groceries. Kroger has a great vegan section of the store. After dropping more $200 on just vegan supplies, we were feeling pretty good. I was actually pretty excited to be eating healthier. The minute we got home, I through some vegan burgers in the pan.
It was okay, doable. I kept expecting the food to taste better than it was. The vegan cheese was horrible! Then I began to just think about tasty normal foods lol. It started to stress me out that my meal wouldn’t be as tasty as I was used to. My wife soldiered on, and stuck with it, at least until all of the current lot was eaten. We then decided that we would just eat healthier and not to the extremes of going vegan. It was too much too fast.
Stress, I feel, is one of the most difficult factors to control. It is also one of the most important. I am a little high strung anyways from the get go, so for me, controlling it is even more difficult. I went in by trying to no let the small things get to me. We raise our now teenage niece, and she is in the stage where she talks back, has mood swings, and is LAZY. These things are stressful when trying to be stress free. But you make do for the hope that you will have a beautiful baby.
I was very hopeful at all of the monitoring appointments. Everything in the blood work, sperm counts, and on the ovaries was looking optimal. But IUI after IUI was negative. It seemed like we would never conceive. Each time hopeful and each time a no go. Finally after the fourth attempt with no luck, we decided to call a time out and come up with another game plan.
We had another consultation with the Dr. and she thought the next best step would be IVF. She had told us from the first IUI that we would be good candidates based on the testing they had conducted. We wanted to complete IVF, but getting the funds would be tricky. Our insurance from our employer did not cover any of this. Just a basic fresh transfer IVF was in the ballpark of $14000 without all of the medications. We were hopeful though, that we could find a way to make it work. That’s when the Dr. asked us if we had considered trying to get a grant.
The problem was that the deadline to apply for a grant was only 1 week out. We had to act fast, but really, what were the chances? You had to right an essay, send in a recent picture, and have a doctor’s recommendation to even be qualified for the grant. My wife was on a mission to get the essay completed, and she did. We sent in the essay, picture, and the recommendation. Now it was a waiting game.
A few weeks later, my uncle had passed away. We were attending the funeral when my wife’s phone kept ringing. On the way home she called the number back to see what it was about. It was a number we had not recognized. The person on the other line told her that we were the winner’s of the IVF Grant. I couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe it. It was like God was looking down on us, I mean, we were literally just leaving a funeral.
It didn’t come without compromise though. This year they only had $4000 to give to a couple for IVF. This meant we still needed about $10000 to get the procedure complete. But it was a sign that we should try. And try we did.